Thursday, June 14, 2007

where it at?

i completed my first week of women's health clinicals in bmore. most of my patients have been pregnant more times in their short lives than i ever will be or ever hope to be. fertile people, those teenagers. my preceptor told me about a patient she had who had sex in the 10day window between getting the first depo shot and having it take effect...yup, she got pregnant. carried that baby through 2 additional depo shots too, until, at 24 wks, she realized she was pregnant. well, not exactly that. my preceptor said she came in and said 'there's something moving in my stomach.' there sure as shit was, too.

my other clinical is pediatric orthopedics. its a tough rotation to have in the summer. basically, if you break your limb badly enough, you have to pin it in place and then cast it. and if you are casted in the summer, you can't do anything. and with pins in there, you really can't do anything; can't risk it getting wet, can't risk the limb swelling, nothing. so, most of our patients are not too happy with us.

my sister just sent me this newsweek 'my turn' article about a woman who formula feeds her babe because bf didn't work for her. i thought it interesting, because she talked about all the implicit and explicit judgement she got for her choice.

my poor hubby is feeling SO SAD. he is really depressed about the wait, and the m/c, and our lack of progress on the fertility/child having front. we are definitly at a stand still. our situation prevents us from moving forward in an adoption plan, and we have to take next month off from ttc. so he is really bumming. i am not bumming too bad yet, because i have a healthy dose of fear as i wait for my period this month. the longer it takes, the worse it will be, and i'm good and scared now. i don't even want a bfp right now because i'm afraid it will be a chemical. i'm too scared to be depressed right now, so i guess that's a good thing?

1 comment:

LJ said...

I definitely sympathize with what you and your husband are going through. Mr. Badger was really blue on Monday and I asked him what was up. This is a guy who does not come from a family that talks about emotions, so it really struck me when he said:

"Well, it's Fathers' Day, and I'm not one...again". That really touched me. I know this sounds sick, but it is somewhat soothing when the guys say something like that - it's hard to know how much all of this affects them. We get all the joys of the fertility treatments, it's more obvious for us...