Monday, December 31, 2007

NYE edition

and a happy 2008

i would post pictures of my nephews (who are just so redonkulously fabulously adorable) but i forgot the cable that connects the camera to the computer in CA so pictures will have to wait a week.

2008 should be an interesting year. On tap:
**i will graduate (HA!!! hopefully anyway).
**i will be able to live with my spouse full-time for the first time in a long time...neat, huh?
**i will probably find a job (check that: i'd BETTER find a job...which probably also means i should start looking for one. le sigh.)
**i'm going to haiti for a week in february to help with ongoing medical relief efforts there.
**i start round 1 of IVF in janury.

speaking of IVF, my baseline appt: 1/15. i'm currently on BCP which means i've had my period for 'round about 3 wks now and let me tell you, the lustre is quite starting to wear off. the clinic is also badgering me about showing up to appts with a "chaperone", but since the appointments are 630a-830a i really don't see that happening on a routine basis. plus, why is the onus on me to provide one, when they are requiring it for basically their own protection? the only person that i could rightly harass about "chaperoning" me is my husband, who is currently activated military in another state. and as they are a clinic that serves military families, is it crazy to think they should have considered that contingency? i said as much to the IVF nurse coordinator who said their contingency plan is that i meet someone in the waiting room and then needle my newfound aquaintance into acting as my chaperone. yeah, because that won't be uncomfortable for all parties involved AT ALL (..."i know we've only just met, but would you mind coming back with me to watch as the dr pokes at my bits and pieces with steely instruments?") i guess if seeing someone's naked hoo-ha 5 minutes after meeting them isn't the cement that long-lasting friendships are built on, well then, ladies, what is?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

oh, i forgot...

i'm a b*tch. i'm only telling this to YOU dear computer because i know you won't judge. right? ....right?

i have a friend inside the computer who got pg after 6 mos ttc. she got her bfp 3-4 days ago. she has ALREADY posted a ticker, made plans for future sonograms and is checking out maternity clothes. she's, like, 15dpo at this point. WTH? what kind of hubris is that? seriously! i wish i didn't find it so annoying, but i do.

le sigh.

and on a different note: this is just like rocco in appearance and deed. bad cat!

holding pattern

sorry for the long delay in posts. i survived the end of the semester (it was touch and go there for a while) and am now here in LA helping my sis with the nephews. they are both so funny. they express displeasure by coughing, farting and vomiting (as well as screaming, of course) and i have to admire the full body approach they take. its one thing to be upset, but they *really* commit to it.

i think i'm getting a sore throat from the sleep deprivation which is kind of pathetic, considering j has been going on consistently less sleep for far longer.

andrew enjoys an US Weekly (and who doesn't?)

ryan is snug as a bug in a rug (his nickname is the siren...not that you could tell from this pic).

in IVF news, baseline appt is scheduled for 1/15.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

knocked up (the movie, not me)

came across the following very interesting articles today while i should be studying :)

this article on slate discusses how 'knocked up' is just a little bit sexist. and it exactly describes how i felt after seeing the was hilarious but i felt a little squeamish about how different the fun loving ben was portrayed as opposed to the straight laced alison or the shrewish debbie. i think this article raises a critical point...with every story that is told, you have to look at who is doing the telling. in this case, judd aptow is behind the camera and it's ben's story he's telling, its him that you're rooting for in the end. i think it becomes problematic when you assume that it's THE story being told. it isn't. it's ben's story, and aptow does an OK job at putting a little bit of alison's story in. but his portrayal of alison's story has nowhere near the subtlety and humor of ben's. so my point (yes i have one) is this: when watching something it is critical to keep in mind WHO is doing the telling, because that affects the story told. who is behind the lens, and who is in front of it?

this article addresses how alison never really considered abortion as an option. fascinating, actually, considering she barely knows ben, doubts his commitment to adulthood, and is financially dependent (living with her sister).

and this NYT article is an offshoot of the above, i found it interesting. it is from 2004 and discusses how 40% of women have had an abortion, but no one talks about it. i guess it hides in the same space as miscarriage, which is also very common but no one talks about in the public sphere. i'd even venture to say the silence is worse regarding abortion, because of the value judgements involved: miscarriage is passive, whereas abortion is active.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

shall we dance?

so, i canceled my rotation in oregon on friday, scheduled to begin next month. it doesn't sound like much, but the whole oregon thing has been a saga for the last 9 mos. to wit:

in march '07 i made plans to do a family practice rotation in oregon in january '08.

in march i got bfp.
--debated cancelling
chemical shortly thereafter,
---oregon plans left intact.

bfp again following clomid + IUI
--spent april and the beginning of may wondering if i should cancel. figured it was only prudent since how would i get from the right coast to the left coast at 36 or so weeks, assuming everything went as planned? airline travel is certainly discouraged...driving would take 3 days at best one way. and then i'd have to find a hospital out there just in case i went a few wks early. yet didn't want to cancel because what if i m/c'd? decided that i was being morbid, wasn't giving the pregnancy my mental all if i *planned* for a m/c (i.e. not cancelling plans). needed to operate under the assumption of success, at least until proven otherwise. that is the mentally healthy way, right?
---cancelled oregon, claimed conflicting family schedule

m/c late may

contacted oregon health services again, once it was no longer possible for january to be an issue in terms of traveling while in 3rd trimester.
--informed funding no longer available.

oregon rural health contacts me to say that funding is available again, would i like to do rotation in january as previously planned? i alter my plans to visit sister in jan and enthusiastically agree. oregon back on. make plans for preceptorship, travel, accomodations etc.

following yet another chemical following yet another clomid + IUI, clinic moves me into IVF track. next IVF cycle? you got it: january.

spend two weeks trying to figure out whether there is any way to do both jan rotation and jan IVF. unable to pin clinic down in terms of exact dates for baseline, upon which everything else depends. finally give up and cancel rotation. again. 3 wks in advance of scheduled travel. feel like a total a$$.

though it will make me murderously insanely gloweringly mad to hear it, since i've cancelled my trip and all, i'm half expecting the clinic to call and say they can't take me in january after all, for any of a variety of different reasons. it IS par for the course, no?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

i think the clinic is south and east of here

so, IVF orientation was yesterday. i was oriented to several important facts.

a. clinic appt times are between 6:45-8:30 in the morning. ALL of them. so, that should be loads of fun for the dark wintery mornings. sigh.

b. if you are under 39, you will get one or two embryos.

c. if somehow you end up with 3+ gestations and you want to reduce, they support that decision but will not offer the reduction because they are a gov't facility blah blah blah happy to refer you elsewhere blah blah blah. oh, and the insurance doesn't cover it either.

d. birth control starts next cd 2, whenever that is, for all 40 of us sitting in the room.

e. no baseline appointment yet.

f. if you want a baseline appt, you will pay us a deposit. today. we take checks, mastercard, discover, visa, blood, sweat and tears.

so that was that. i paid them the money, and a little bit of my sanity with it, just for good measure. they said we'd hear by the end of the week as to when the baseline appts would be. of course, i haven't heard anything yet so i start the phone nagging tomorrow. i guess i should also cancel oregon tomorrow.

yesterday my clinical got canceled because of the snow so i went home and took a nap at 7:30pm and woke up this morning. i slept 13 hrs straight. rip van winklette, that's me.

Saturday, December 1, 2007