Sunday, December 9, 2007
shall we dance?
so, i canceled my rotation in oregon on friday, scheduled to begin next month. it doesn't sound like much, but the whole oregon thing has been a saga for the last 9 mos. to wit:
in march '07 i made plans to do a family practice rotation in oregon in january '08.
in march i got bfp.
chemical shortly thereafter,
---oregon plans left intact.
bfp again following clomid + IUI
--spent april and the beginning of may wondering if i should cancel. figured it was only prudent since how would i get from the right coast to the left coast at 36 or so weeks, assuming everything went as planned? airline travel is certainly discouraged...driving would take 3 days at best one way. and then i'd have to find a hospital out there just in case i went a few wks early. yet didn't want to cancel because what if i m/c'd? decided that i was being morbid, wasn't giving the pregnancy my mental all if i *planned* for a m/c (i.e. not cancelling plans). needed to operate under the assumption of success, at least until proven otherwise. that is the mentally healthy way, right?
---cancelled oregon, claimed conflicting family schedule
m/c late may
contacted oregon health services again, once it was no longer possible for january to be an issue in terms of traveling while in 3rd trimester.
--informed funding no longer available.
oregon rural health contacts me to say that funding is available again, would i like to do rotation in january as previously planned? i alter my plans to visit sister in jan and enthusiastically agree. oregon back on. make plans for preceptorship, travel, accomodations etc.
following yet another chemical following yet another clomid + IUI, clinic moves me into IVF track. next IVF cycle? you got it: january.
spend two weeks trying to figure out whether there is any way to do both jan rotation and jan IVF. unable to pin clinic down in terms of exact dates for baseline, upon which everything else depends. finally give up and cancel rotation. again. 3 wks in advance of scheduled travel. feel like a total a$$.
though it will make me murderously insanely gloweringly mad to hear it, since i've cancelled my trip and all, i'm half expecting the clinic to call and say they can't take me in january after all, for any of a variety of different reasons. it IS par for the course, no?