Sunday, October 14, 2007

'risk taking' and the 2ww

all the different ways the 2ww tries our souls. yesterday i ran my a$$ off playing ultimate. it was a great game too, my team really needed me, and i ended up catching the game-winning point :). but should people in the 2ww exert themselves so strenuously? it's all a huge mindf*ck, because, potentially, i could be in the 2ww at least half of the time for the next long while. should i give up my life and sit at home for what could be? should i really give up half of my games? on the other hand, do i risk possibly a bad outcome by running so much? my hr was probably in the neighborhood of 4,000bpm which is well over the recommended < 150bpm. additionally, as i was chasing plastic discs all over the rocky bumpy field that is anac*stia, i thought this about the potential life in my womb: 'if you are trying to implant NOW, good luck little sucker!' i rationalized this way: women have been getting pregnant for eons, and most of them did not sit on their heinies waiting on devil sticks to turn their way. they just lived their life, and got/stayed pregnant anyway. the proof is that we're all here, and only recently has leisure been an option for the vast majority of women. on the other hand, maybe women like me would not have gotten pregnant in the good old days. it comes down to this: do i blame myself more for sitting at home not playing and then getting a bfn, or play my a$$ off and risk a bfn that might have otherwise potentially be a bfp? i decided to play anyway, because i know that when the time comes, there's plenty of blame to go around.


ultimatejourney said...

FWIW, when I did my Clo.mid cycle I didn't do anything high-impact in the first half of the cycle. By about halfway through the 2ww, I was ready to pull my hair out and went for a run. It didn't seem to hurt my chances, and I suspect it won't hurt yours either.

Good luck whenever you decide to test.

Geohde said...

I do my level best to ignore the tww. As you say, otherwise I'll spend half of my life behaving totally boring and, well, I don't want to wake up aged 50 (no kids) and realised that I missed life whilst spending ridiculous amount s of cash on fertility treatments. It's enough to potentially wake up at 50, childless and broke, I can do without the terminal dullness.


LJ said...

Power to ya girlfriend! I'm sure the ultimate helped get some stress out too. Looking forward to tomorrow night! Make sure I write down the DC tap water ingredients!!!