Thursday, July 26, 2007
i'll take mine scrambled
i'd like to indicate, for the record, that i must have some anatomy in some very interesting places because no one can find anything they're supposed to on the first pass. so, to clarify for any of my health care providers that are reading:
1--where my my cervix?
i'll tell you straight up it's posterior. point the speculuum about 40 degrees south of where you think it should be, and you just might find it. i don't know why it keeps such bad company. usually i have this conversation after what seems like endless minutes in the stirrups, and great gnashing of teeth (mine, theirs). i think i should have it beforehand from now on.
2--where is my right ovary?
i know i have one, lets start with that. today it was located hanging out at dairy queen. who doesn't want a blizzard? best way to image it is to put the dildocam perpindicular to the hooha and set the phaser to 'stun.'
the news from the almighty divining rod was mixed. the best thing to see is one nice big follicle. i've got two mediums (a 13mm on the right and an 11mm on the left) as well as a smattering of littles. i'm going back on monday for another look-see, because the picture was too mixed to give me a definitive trigger date.
so, i have two problems (or slightly more than that). one is that monday is the next day i'm supposed to rotate with the orthopedic dr. of course. we are talking about someone who got thyroid cancer during her residency and took a grand total of 2 wks off. i lied about where i was today, because skipping clinical to get wanded is not acceptable. now i have to be late to the very next clincal with her for the very same reason. the nice thing is that the RE is going to see me at 720am so i can be out of there as soon as possible. the bad part is i'm still going to be about 1/2 hr late or more :(. my sis thinks i should tell her ahead of time that i'm going to be late, but that involves coming up with a plausible reason that i will be late, and there isn't any, really.
problem 2 is that i left the nov.arel powder in the trunk for 4 hrs today (HOT), because i'm not that bright. it isn't mixed or into solution anything but the box clearly says 'store at room temp' as does the package insert. so, odds that i turned a very expensive medicine into weak table salt? anyone?