Wednesday, May 30, 2007

tomorrow, it's only a day away

i leave charleston tomorrow, and i won't be back until the 15th. boo. it is very sad. it was nice to spend these last few weeks here, actually living like a married couple. i also really really like charleston. i'm not sure about SC in general (they have sh*t here named for their late senator Str*m Th*rmond!) but charleston is just lovely.

i'm also going to visit my lovely sister tomorrow. i was very close to canceling the trip after the m/c because my initial vision of the trip was of two sisters, both pregnant, hanging out together. the first meeting of the cousins in utero. and of course, i've had a chem pregnancy and a m/c all during my sister's pregnancy. so while i am filled with joy for her, i was worried that it would just fill me with sadness over my own loss. and, to be honest, i'm not sure how it will go. i tried rescheduling the trip but between the late fee, the f*ck you fee, and the multiple fee fee, it was not feasible. so, i'm on my way out tomorrow and we will see how it goes. i think at least parts of it will go well, because i do really enjoy being around my sis. also, i am very into pregnancy and babies and i like talking about it, even given my own current un-pregnant situation. so i think it will be sad for me, but i still think we'll have a good time.

school starts for me next week. i can't believe it! this break has flown by. i am starting in one clinical next week in a pediatric orthopedic surgeon' office. i am pretty sure she is going to think i'm a dumb a$$. orthopedics is not something i can speak even reasonably intelligently on. maybe i'll call the preceptor and she can recommend a book that i can at least skim before the rotation starts. my other rotation this summer is women's health, and i'm alot more confident about that.

3 comments:

jenn said...

its okay to be happy for your sister and sad for yourself at the same time, laura. i love you and will be thinking of you.

The Town Criers said...

Got to agree with Jenn--the two feelings can exist simultaneously. Thanks for letting me know about your blog. I'm now reading backwards to get the whole story :-) And I added you to my blogroll under Female Factor. So glad you found my blog too.

BestLight said...

Laura, boy can I relate. The SAME WEEK that we found out we were, umm, infertile, my sister -- who had a 9 month-old -- found out she was pregnant -- WITH TWINS.

Her boys are 11 and 12 now, but just writing this I still feel the anger about the seeming injustice.

Still, I loved my sister then (and now), I love my nephews, and I now I get to love my two children (6 and 4). And I love their two sets of birthparents.

"Not How I Planned It" is a great name. I wish you all the best as your story unfolds.