Wednesday, May 30, 2007

tomorrow, it's only a day away

i leave charleston tomorrow, and i won't be back until the 15th. boo. it is very sad. it was nice to spend these last few weeks here, actually living like a married couple. i also really really like charleston. i'm not sure about SC in general (they have sh*t here named for their late senator Str*m Th*rmond!) but charleston is just lovely.

i'm also going to visit my lovely sister tomorrow. i was very close to canceling the trip after the m/c because my initial vision of the trip was of two sisters, both pregnant, hanging out together. the first meeting of the cousins in utero. and of course, i've had a chem pregnancy and a m/c all during my sister's pregnancy. so while i am filled with joy for her, i was worried that it would just fill me with sadness over my own loss. and, to be honest, i'm not sure how it will go. i tried rescheduling the trip but between the late fee, the f*ck you fee, and the multiple fee fee, it was not feasible. so, i'm on my way out tomorrow and we will see how it goes. i think at least parts of it will go well, because i do really enjoy being around my sis. also, i am very into pregnancy and babies and i like talking about it, even given my own current un-pregnant situation. so i think it will be sad for me, but i still think we'll have a good time.

school starts for me next week. i can't believe it! this break has flown by. i am starting in one clinical next week in a pediatric orthopedic surgeon' office. i am pretty sure she is going to think i'm a dumb a$$. orthopedics is not something i can speak even reasonably intelligently on. maybe i'll call the preceptor and she can recommend a book that i can at least skim before the rotation starts. my other rotation this summer is women's health, and i'm alot more confident about that.


jenn said...

its okay to be happy for your sister and sad for yourself at the same time, laura. i love you and will be thinking of you.

The Town Criers said...

Got to agree with Jenn--the two feelings can exist simultaneously. Thanks for letting me know about your blog. I'm now reading backwards to get the whole story :-) And I added you to my blogroll under Female Factor. So glad you found my blog too.

BestLight said...

Laura, boy can I relate. The SAME WEEK that we found out we were, umm, infertile, my sister -- who had a 9 month-old -- found out she was pregnant -- WITH TWINS.

Her boys are 11 and 12 now, but just writing this I still feel the anger about the seeming injustice.

Still, I loved my sister then (and now), I love my nephews, and I now I get to love my two children (6 and 4). And I love their two sets of birthparents.

"Not How I Planned It" is a great name. I wish you all the best as your story unfolds.