Wednesday, August 22, 2007

lucky? maybe.

am i 'lucky?' maybe, maybe not. my husband got activated by the reserves. that is unlucky. but he got activated to charles.ton. that is very lucky. we have been living together here in the boggy heat for the past two weeks or so after living apart for nearly a year. things have been a bit rocky, but i'm hoping for a rightening of ship and a smoother course soon.

anyway, back to the question of luck. my lil sister is pregnant with twins. they will be the first grandchildren on our side, and i think the first grandchildren on the father's side too. suffice it to say the relatives have about lost their collective minds. and since both our parents and her hubby's parents are divorced, there's twice as much crazy to go around. my mom wants to come over to j's apartment, stay for 3 mos, sleep in the room with the babies at night, and take care of all the night feeds. my step mom wants to 'drop by' at some random future date after they are born and hang out for a leave date specified. her hubby's step mother has decided it is very important that my sis should cloth diaper, and frequently mentions several diaper services in j's area. she also thinks j should start keeping kosher, just for good measure. and because of all the divorce-step-etc relations involved, everyone wants to come but if this person overlaps with that person j's little apt will start resembling southern lebanon. it's like some Lsat problem writ large: a wants to visit, but will not come if b is there. b will come if and only if he can sit next to c. etc. etc. etc. right now she is working on a schedule to accomodate everyone's visitation requests. "you're lucky" she says to me "because when you get pregnant you'll be in the area and can just send everyone home."

am i lucky? i guess. i don't feel lucky. i certainly don't envy her position with the constant buzzing of relatives circling overhead, throwing down flags, staking claim, protesting she's playing favorites with this relative over that one, bartering, whining, and generally carrying on. on the other hand, i would be giving birth about the same time as her if i had not miscarried; within the same week actually. it's hard to consider my self lucky on that front. i'm not in her position because i miscarried a wanted baby. i guess if i manage to get pregnant and stay pregnant sometime in the near future (knock wood, ptu ptu ptu), i'll give birth while still in school so i'll still be in the same state as the majority of the relatives. no doubt, this will make it easier for me to send them all home. on the other hand, as we all know, there are no guarantees. i definitly don't envy her position, but i don't think i'm lucky that i'm not in it. there are good sides to it, but ultimately it's where i find myself, not where i wanted to be.

today is day 1 of clo.mid.


Heather said...

kinda like is the glass half empty or half full...somedays I'm just glad there is anything in the glass at all.

I don't envy having to deal with crazy parents/in laws but I do envy the reason why.

Good luck with the Clomid!

LJ said...

I wish I had something brilliant, inspiring, sympathetic or anything to say. But it just stinks right now for you, and I am so sorry I can't make it better :(

dmarie said...

I hope you get to that smoother course very soon :)

I understand finding yourself not where you wanted to be, or ever dreamed you would be, and it just sucks doesn't it?

kim99 said...

True, I think lucky isn't really the right word. More that you won't have to deal with all the same craziness (hopefully) and slowly see yourself going insane.

Hope all goes well with the Clomid -- and that it cools off in S. Carolina sometime soon.

Geohde said...

Not to throw around the 'luck' word, but good luck with the Clomid.

ultimatejourney said...

I hope Clo.mid turns things around and puts you in a position where you feel very lucky.