Monday, August 13, 2007
false hope v. prolonging the inevitable
i'm scared to pee on another stick. *if* i ovulated 36hrs after the trigger (like a regular person would) the neg at 11dpo/dpiui is quite damning. BUT if i o'd 2 days later, as seems possible or even likely, than the neg was only at 9dpo. in that case, a neg is somewhat acceptable.
my temps are still up but we stirrup queens know how fate likes to f*ck with us. testing tomorrow would be cd13/cd11 which seems late enough in either case to get a definitive result. if i wake up with low temps i won't even have to test. on the other hand, if i wake up with elevated temps and don't test, i can hang on to hope even if it's not warranted. which is better, false hope or early despair? i can pick one or the other tomorrow. it seems like false hope is better in the short run and getting the despair started with already (if it's going to come anyway) is better in the long run. i know testing doesn't affect the outcome...but it will affect the kind of morning i'm going to have tomorrow.
equivocating over a pee stick. does it get much lower? at least i haven't bothered with the means-nothing-2ww-are-my-boobs-sore crap. well, its tumbleweeded on through but i make it keep on tumbling. is that twinge a bfp or af on her way? how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?