Tuesday, February 12, 2008

anxious, nervous




bah! i'm so anxious for tomorrow's beta. i keep trying to tell myself NOT to be nervous because it won't help and nothing's gone wrong yet so far. plus, if i only get two days to be p-word, i might as well enjoy them, right? plus i worry that being anxious might make me miscarry which is a mindf*ck beyond all mindf*cks. either it will double or it won't. if it doesn't it doesn't necessarily mean its over, and if it does i'm far from out of the woods. bah.

my mental state right now=not too good.

12 comments:

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

Holy Crap!!! This is AWESOME!!! (I was away all week)

Please just relax... there is enough trouble in the day without your adding to it by worryin about miscarriage. I don't think you can cause one from worrying! But you want to enjoy every single minute of this pregnancy... which will hopefully be 9 wonderful months!

Good luck.... I'm SO rooting for you! And let me know when WR tells you you can get your 1st ultrasound. WH says 7 weeks and I want to kill them for making me wait that long. Next time I'm going to insist for sooner, if only to get to see what is going on earlier.

Heather said...

I'm with you...my head knows that worry won't help and is probably a bad thing, but I can't help it. I should be enjoying it, but it doesn't seem real yet.

I am praying for a GREAT number for you!!!

Leah said...

It's nearly impossible, but try to remain somewhat calm. There's nothing you can do to make your betas be the perfect numbers, so take your own advice and enjoy every single moment of the p word experience. So happy for you!

Adrian & Tashida said...

Cute pic! Can't wait to hear the result tomorrow! I'm sure all will be fine.

Meghan said...

Everyone told me to be calm before mine, but there was no way I could...so I completely understand. Fingers crossed for a nice high number tomorrow

Rho said...

My fingers are crossed for a big number today!

ultimatejourney said...

I'm thinking of you today!

In and Out of Luck said...

I'm thinking of you today and will check back later. I totally understand the feeling and I would tell you to "relax" if I thought it were possible - I know I never managed it so I won't tell you to! It's hard to stay in the moment when 1) the niceness of the pregnancy moment is by definition future-oriented and 2) infertility has made you used to thinking that the moment sucks and is something to be fled at all costs. So I never quite got the zen thing but I'm still trying!

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking about you! <3
Katie

Meghan said...

I'm already stalking you today. Lots of good thoughts have been flying in your direction all morning!

Meghan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SaraS-P said...

I hope you get much more than 2 days of the p word.