the well and the light house

i'm sure everyone knows this by now but possibly the greatest song of the year is 'the well and the light house' by arcade fire. i've been listening to it on repeat for the last 2 hrs and i'm doing just great...though i think maybe that banging sound is my upstairs neighbor trying to stomp through their floor to crush my speakers. whatever. i'm sure they'll thank me later. if not initially, it'll grow on you a la 'co-stanza!'

if ugly AF doesn't rear her ugly head tomorrow i'm going to be hella pissed. the neg hpt at 12dpo pretty much means that even a positive later on isn't a great sign. i won't get through another chemical pregnancy without some more significant chemicals for myself. plus, i need to get this cycle started so i can get the next one started, so i can enact the GREAT MECHANICS of MODERN MEDICINE the following cycle. so lets get going already. i spent the entire day poking at coochies and maneuvering (sp?) pregnant women's bellies and dopplering fetal heart tones which i think is scientifically proven to start my menses a-flowin. i hope so anyway.

i actually had a great time at my women's health rotation today. my preceptor is one of the best i've had this program so far. while i can locate a cervix, i can't do much with it once i find it. the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.

speaking of weak flesh, my exercise has reached a new nadir: abysmal. i'm ashamed.
le sigh.