ever have that 'not so fresh' feeling?

i'm a regular contributor to a child and parenting section of a hippie music board. at least, that is how the board started, as followers of a "hippie" band. hippies procreated, as hippies do (except, obviously, for this one) and thus the child and pregnancy offshoot of that board was started.

except now i'm feeling like i may have lost my place there. c&p doesn't have a charter, like mothering.com does, so i'm not violating the charter when i'm pro-immunization, or not ecstatically (sp?) a lactivist. i don't like finding myself on the "right" of any board. and i don't want the other members of the board to put up with me, if they would really rather just deal with like minded folks. it's not a bad thing. most people use their internet groups to escape. i provide a forum for debate, but the thing is, i'm just trying to relax too. i don't want to debate. maybe i need to find another parenting forum, but i feel sad about it. i like the people, i just don't like where i find myself.

work today was ok. lots of sickies, as per norm. no one too especially sick. i violated about 10,000 HIPPA rules today looking up a patient that i had treated last time i was on shift. sometimes, i leave a shift and never find out what happened to a patient, and rarely, i get really attached to the family or the child in a short time and i want to find out what happened. this poor kid (8yo girl) came in with pallor and abd pain. how many 8yo girls have abd pain? like, most of them. but this was the 1 in 1 million kid who (it turns out) has metastatic cancer. according to the notes i found, the tumor was inoperable, so they are doing chemo. the prognosis for a kid with an inoperable tumor? not great. my heart really goes out to that family...i'm not a praying sort, but they are definitly in my thoughts.