heavens to betsy this cycle is taking a long time, isn't it? for some reason i harbored a secret hope that somehow my body would know that i wasn't trying to make it get/keep a pregnancy this cycle so it could appease me by ovulating a little early. i'm not even peeing on any sticks! how's that for taking a cycle off? well, not so much. i'm on track for a CD19 o date, which will still sort of work with all of the not sonograms i've scheduled which will be right around, but not on, the days that would work well for next cycle in terms of monitoring. cl of course has a conference in texas and then a big old work thing in savannah for the beginning of august, which i think will coincide perfectly with his need to be up here for an iui. don't you?
this week i'm going to see my sister and my friend melissa, both quite knocked up. my sister is in her 16th week (i think?) with twins, and my friend melissa is in her 7th month. now, i spend a good part of every week dopplering pregnant ladies, measuring their funduses, and counseling them to avoid marijuana as it WILL show up in their urine, like it or not. however, it is a little different to be near my sis and a good friend, both of whom are clearly showing. i was also hoping to have a cycle underway already, at this point. oh well. i think all those other preglets might be good de-sensitization training for the preglets i hold near and dear.
and i swear, almost daily i'm like: my life is not so bad after all. what do i want babies for? mel at stirrup-queens wrote a review of a book this week on her blog, the premise of which is that people eventually return to their baseline level of happiness anyway, in most cases. the author of the book further argues that the net effect of children is overall less happiness (tho marginal) and that most people don't have a good idea of what makes them happy anyway. interesting premise, methinks. i read something else where someone wrote that it isn't having children or not having them that makes you happy, it's having what you want (ie--having kids if you want that, not having them if you dont). its interesting to want kids, what with all the work and the money and the no-free-time and to realize that some argue the overall net effect is negative. yet to not have them when you want them is a negative too. definitly a damned if you do, damned if you dont type scenario.
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It's a little scary to think that after all the trouble we've been through, kids will reduce our happiness. Hopefully they will increase our sense of fulfillment to balance out the decreased happiness.
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