should i move?

we currently rent a house in a neighborhood we greatly enjoy. we're about 2 blocks to the library, 4-5 blocks to the local Y, and maybe 4-5 blocks to a big playground. during the summer we walk to the park every day, and take ez to the library play group twice a week. we've lived here almost a year and i'm just starting to make friends with other local parents with baybeez. the problem is the house. for one it's old (built in 1917) and dark--the carpet here is dark green and there's lots of dark wood trim. the house is also in need of repairs which our landlord is too broke to accomplish. some are annoying (i.e. none of the doors to rooms stay shut when you close them, incl the bathroom; our fence is falling down), some are even more annoying (some genius prior tenant nailed shut all of the windows on the first floor and then painted them closed for good meaure. so, we can't open the windows on the first floor). and some are downright blecchy (the sink and shower drains are reaally sluggish; drano has not helped).

there's a house for rent near here that i found out about through work. the house is beautiful. it was built in 2003, has three (THREE!) bathrooms (current place has one), three big bedrooms, all the doors stay where you put them, all the windows open, the drains function like drains ought, etc. it has a two car garage attached to the house which will be a great benefit in winter for lugging in the baby and groceries and it has tons of closet space. it has a second floor laundry room! the problem is the house doesn't have a neighborhood. it's like the developer was drunk when he drew up the plan. there's no sidewalks. the house has barely any yard, and there's no playground anywhere within walking distance. the closest library is only 1.8mi away but you'd have to drive to it because it's off a main highway. the closest park isn't that far away but you'd have to drive to it. the closest Y is five miles away.

i just keep going back and forth. on the one hand, in the winter when it's two degrees, it's better to have a nicer house because you have to drive everywhere anyway. and the house is so loverly. otoh, it has been so nice just to plunk ez in the stroller and go for long walks...there's no where to go in the other neighborhood and we'd have to walk in the road.

rent for both houses is the same.

to contracept or not to contracept? that is the question...

so, firstly i'd like to point out that ez has recovered from the manhandlings of yesterday. he spent his day today as normal: drooling copiously, jamming his hands and anything else unlucky enough to cross his path as far into his mouth as possible, and practicing his new skill--shrieking. his mama, i fear, has PTSD. oh well.

anyway, as a veteran IVF'er, now post baby, i find myself in the odd position of deciding whether to proactively contracept. on the one hand, i would like another, but i'd like to wait until this one is no longer up 3x/night, every night. if the next one is also up 3x a night...well, that's 6x a night, at which point you might as well just give up entirely and enjoy the sleep-deprived visual hallucinations that creep in around the edges of your non-functioning state. maybe keep a thick pot of coffee on hand at all times. i believe i'd go slightly mad in relatively short order. so: yes to a second and yes to not now please!

but actively trying to prevent pregnancy seems odd to me right now. essentially, using bc means one believes that random, untimed, non-charted, unknown CM, non-ovarian stimulated, no-turkey-baster-in-sight type of s.ex could get them pregnant. and i'm not too sure about that. could random s.ex get me pregnant? it never has before. hell, even lots of timed/turkey baster style s.ex didn't do the job. using bc seems wasteful at best and smack full of hubris at worst. so, i dunno.

and i'm still waiting around to get the first baby AF yet, so who knows?

poor ez

about an hour ago i was upstairs in the bathroom doing stuff. i had ez seated on the countertop/sink area facing me. he's not an independent sitter yet, so i was holding both of his hands in one of my hands to provide sitting support while i futzed with things with my other hand. of course, ez decided to suddenly arch backwards while aiming the back of his head at the mirror and i put ***SLIGHT PRESSURE*** on his hands to keep him from ramming his noggin into the glass.

i think i felt a little pop, but what isn't in dispute is that ez started screaming. panic crying. tears falling. wailing. i scooped him up and started singing to him and walking him but he just kept crying. i thought somehow i may have broken his wrist. when i was able to get my wits about me somewhat, i realized that i must have given him a nursemaids elbow. and, it did pop back in when i reduced it. and he did stop crying shortly thereafter. but, i feel like a giant shithead.

i guess on the upside, i broke him, but i fixed him, right?

the astounding thing is how little pressure it took both to cause the nursemaids and to fix it. i mean, most ER nursemaids i get are 3yo's who decide right then and there to either take off into traffic or unweight their bodies at target while mom or dad has them by the hand. you know, a significant force. oy. it was so easy to cause it makes me wonder why there aren't more 6mos olds with nursemaids. or maybe their mothers have more common sense than i have.

mmmm...ducky...


hey! who turned out the lights on the baby??


so we survived The Colic. mamas of colicky infants, don't despair...it ends. we started seeing the light about 3mos and by about 4mos it was mostly dissipated. i'm happy to report at 5mos, ez is a mostly happy, fairly mellow baby. most days. and NO he doesn't sleep through the night. so, there's still improvement to go.

as a total aside rant: i *hate* when cashiers comment on my purchases. nothing makes you feel more like a tool than hearing 'WOW, those are EXPENSIVE batteries!' while sliding your ener.gizer li.thium 4pack across the scanner. so, cashier lady, not that you give a crap but i MEANT to pick these up far cheaper at ta.rget at least 3 different times over the past few weeks, but i keep forgetting, so it's down to get them here, now, or don't get them at all. so i made the painful decision to buy the overpriced batteries at your expensive little tienda here, can we let it go at that? i don't mention that however much you've spent on toothpaste, it wasn't enough.